Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Decisions, Decisions....

I make decisions every day from simple decisions that require no thought at all to decisions at work that affect people's lives; however I find myself facing a decision that for some reason is troubling me more that I ever thought it would. To some, I'm sure this post is silly compared to other "real world" problems but I decided to post anyway because I believe (or I hope) that I can't be the only person with this issue. So here goes....
After Sam was born I decided I was going to let my hair grow. I think I actually ended up cutting it a few times before I actually started letting it grow but that was my thought anyway. As any girl knows letting your hair grow gets boring and you need some "style" to it so throughout the course of letting my hair grow I did some simple different things to it. I noticed at one visit to my stylist that my hair was falling out, or so it seemed. I left there in tears but just didn't think much more about it. She and I talked and this was just a few months after my dad had died and she told me stress and other life events can affect your hair...Who knew??  The one thing she did tell me was NOT to stress over my now thinning hair b/c you guessed it....stress affects your hair. But if anyone reading this knows me at all, you know I have had MUCHO stress in the last few years and worry about everything including my hair. Anyways I still was determined. I even had this awesome plan that I was going to let my hair grow and then donate it to locks of love; my dad had cancer, my gran had cancer, many people I know and love have been affected by cancer, my friends families have been affected by cancer so what better thing to do. But I found out that locks of love didn't want my hair because it has been color treated ( I know that shocks so many of you, HA HA).  Appearance, hair, face, weight, etc...sadly define the world we live in. We are judged by what we look like and our appearance and even though I'd like to say I don't care about what people think about me, just like most people, I do.
So, here's the dilemma I've let my hair grow actively for 2 1/2 years I have enjoyed my long hair but I realize that it's not what it used to be. Frazier and I were cleaning out my grandmother's storage and I came across a picture of my beautiful long hair from college and it nearly made me cry b/c my hair doesn't look anything like that anymore.
I've read and read and read about thinning hair, I've taken vitamins, I've tried every shampoo known to man, I even have watched infomericals on shampoo, I know crazy but I've found myself desperate over hair. I guess it bothers me b/c something I feel like I should have control over I don't anymore. Maybe that's why it bothers me so much. I've looked at pictures of myself lately and it breaks my heart.
Like I stated when I started this post, I know to some that read this it's silly but to me it's sad. I used to cut 8 or more inches off my hair and not even bat an eye and maybe that's b/c the choice was mine and I feel like now I don't have a choice and I'm sad about it and still don't know whether to cut or hope for the best. I've attached a few pictures of me when I was younger with the hair I hoped to have when I started this process a couple of years ago.
So in the upcoming weeks if you see me with shorter Locks, here's the reason why!!
 ps: the smaller trophy is for prettiest hair! Go figure!!

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